Your father is telling me... he had sex at least once with your mother

CBS's Today Show isn't exactly synonymous with hard-hitting journalism, but must they forfeit valuable airtime to giving con jobs like this a national platform?

Damn, puberty really did fuck with Haley Joel Osment.

I won't waste too much time rehashing the standard objections here, but don't any of these participants ever take a moment to smell the bucket of shit lying in front of them? Their first hint of subterfuge should arise the moment they notice the deceased speaking to Madame Frogthroat never divulge their full names. To put it another way, why would someone's dead relative - faced with a once in a lifetime (or deadtime in this case) chance to speak with his loved ones - choose to describe himself as "Bob or Peter" or "starts with an 's'"?

And let me say, no one wishes to be reunited with old pets more than me, but I have to wonder. Are all the animals we've lost over the years just roaming around the netherworld waiting for us to arrive? Also, is it just pets? What about all the animals who never had "owners"? What's heaven for them, not being factory farmed and consumed?

I'm trying to picture an angel angler fish and it just isn't working.